Weddings Toasts & Speeches

Arguing and fighting can kill a relationship. Is there any relationship advice that can help?

Yes! And some of it can be very fun. But before we get to that, you should know that fighting is natural and normal in relationships. Two healthy adults with differing values and viewpoints and experiences will occasionally disagree, argue or fight. Its gonna happen.

And, there is lots you can do about learning to fight fair, and how to resolve conflict quickly, and how to get both of your needs met in a relationship. But very little has been said about how to stop fighting at the source. Is there a way to stop conflict before it arises?

Many times, yes! A study done on couples found this:

The more play there is in a relationship, the less fighting there is.

Does that sound obvious or what? The more the two of you play together, the less you will tend to have conflict about all the little things. And the better you will deal with other differences that do arise. It’s almost too simple, isn’t it? When you “play” with your mate, you will be less irritable and less likely to get upset about all the problems that can arise in a relationship.

Therefore, some simple relationship advice is that if you want to stop conflict before it arises, you need to add more play back into your relationship. The more you add back in, the more you will begin to notice a lessening of anger and argument between you.

Take a moment now to consider: How much play do you have in your relationship now? What do the two of you do together that you both enjoy? How often do you do things that you both enjoy?

We play a lot together in the beginning of the relationship. We go to dinner, movies, whatever. There are all sorts of activities we enjoy doing together. But as life goes on, we get caught up in the obligations of job and kids and bills and we can stop playing together and having much fun with our partner. And the less play, the more we see a corresponding rise in arguing and conflict.

The fun is gone, leaving arguments and anger.

The study found that the more conflict there is, the less play there is in general. To reverse this, follow this happy relationship advice: spend more quality time together doing what’s fun for your both. Just one date night a week can change things for the better. When you do, you’ll see that it is a very realistic method to stop fighting at the source and add love!

It’s a fun way to stop fighting, don’t you think?